NEVER trust a recipe from the internet! added notes…

Internet recipe version 3!! I just can’t win. In honor of Cinco De Mayo I tried a recipe – looked simple enough. And I have to say that it didn’t start out that bad….

I know you don’t want to know this but there was chopping involved but not one drop of blood was spilt!! What an improvement!! There I was cooking and not burning (well, not to badly anyway!) I got the first batch fried and they looked eatable. I should have known  something was going hinky when Peter cut open the avocados – ( I am allergic to avacados, bananas, mangos old age stinks!!) They were really rotten, no guac. Well, we took the tomatoes, onions, garlic and some spices and mixed it with the sour cream (which just happen to be ranch dip – I thought I got sour cream!) well, as you can tell the dinner just keeps getting worse. I guess the part that is really pathetic is that my son was being really sweet and his “Well, Mom you are getting better!” made me feel loved and yet oddly sad. I have a cousin who is going to try the recipe – Judy Drewrey Leeton – I don’t even want to know how you come out, not that I don’t care. I just don’t think I could stand up to the comparison.

Ok, how about internet recipe TAKE 2!?!? I was trying to be nice to Peter’s Dad. He had shoulder replacement on Wednesday. So I was thinking some finger food because it is his right shoulder that was replaced. It’s it always the one you use the most?! I know that his Dad is very picky about what he eats, no sugar, no starches and very little fat. Knowing he doesn’t eat bread, sandwiches are out. I saw, yes on the internet, Indian fry bread. Looked like it didn’t have any yeast or sugar in it… and he could eat it with his left hand. Well, let me say that my cooking skills have not improved since the first effort from the internet…. I know how to do fried BREAD, but this stuff was different. First I had them too thick, next too small, by the end of the batch I managed to get as least a couple that could be considered eatable. While I was frying I was chopping the lettuce, tomato, onion and some cheese and sour cream. Hungry yet?!? The recipe called for shortening – all I had was oil – I will blame it on that!! Yes, THAT is the reason. Well, the hamburger and refried beans will go well topped with the lettuce, tomato, onion etc. I think I will just call it a taco salad… when in doubt – lie!!!

As most of you know cooking seems to be a LITTLE out of my wheel house. It isn’t even on the block that houses my wheel house. Ok, you get the message I CAN’T COOK. I can bake but that is from persistence from my Mom.

Harvey had been working hard outside trying to get cows and calfs (did you know that a cow and a calf are called a pair? I didn’t.) Being the great sister I am I decided to see he had a good meal. WHAT WAS I THINKING???

I found a recipe on the internet that didn’t look too intimidating. So I put on my cooking apron and set to work. Just kidding I don’t even own an apron! But I did wash my hands and start to work. Now the rolling out the bread didn’t seem too hard. It said to roll out a piece of bread and wrap a sausage link in it. So I rolled to my little heart’s content. Firmly taking the bread I rolled. I mean that thing was FLAT!!  After wrapping the sausage and dipping my gems in eggs. (french toast style)  I then put the bundle into the hot waiting oil. The sizzle was music to my ears. Thinking that I might actually be doing something right I added more of my bread wrapped sausages to the pan.

Deciding that maybe I should read to see how long I should fry them, I noticed something that I swear WASN’T there before, I swear it wasn’t. The word COOKED sausage. So I am terrified of killing someone with undercooked sausage. Just about this time my older brother Ronald L Moe, called and when I told him what I had done he said: “Toss them in the microwave, that will cook it.” Taking a little of his wisdom I decided that if microwaving could do it so could the oven. Turning the stove to a warm 350 thinking that it wouldn’t take long to cook them through, I waited until the oven dinged that preheating was done. I stuck them in the oven. Wondering what would be a good time 10 mins? 20? let’s be safe 30 mins on the timer.

Sausage

Yes, don’t they look yummy?? OH you thought these were mine?!?! Really, you have not been paying attention. You should have guessed this is the picture from the internet.

Below are the ones that I managed to haul out of the oven

dinner

Just a little difference wouldn’t you say? While not quite an EPIC failure, OK an EPIC failure. My brother Harvey said they weren’t too bad. I think he was just so glad to have dinner he would have eaten bricks…which let’s face the fact these pretty much are bricks! The sausage was cooked so one down, now if I can just scrape the crust off….

I took the cowards way out I just fried the leftover eggs and ate them. I would have posted a picture but I have a weak stomach!

Better luck next recipe!!

Leave me a comment to see if I get it. Thanks!

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