Not that it is a bad thing. But people who don’t know your friend might tell you that you should kick them out, or make them ashamed of being here, or worst yet, That you should never let them in at all. I had a FaceBook friend that is trying to work through his grief. Trying to wrap his head around a “New Normal” There is no such thing as too much grief. The builder the grief the more that person meant to you.
Embrace the grief. Let it wash over you time and time again. It means that you TRULY loved that person. Spent time getting to know your grief is just taking the love you had for whom ever and just taking it to another level. No, they are not here. No, you can’t call them on the phone, No, you won’t be able to hug them – this side of heaven anyway. And I guess that is really the issue. Seeing them? Not so much now, but remembering the love – always a good thing!
The reply I wrote on facebook is:
The friend never really leaves. But you kind of get use to him being around. It means that you start remembering the good memories – and even the bad ones. So soon on the “visitor” you will notice blooms instead of the thorns, you will notice that the spikes become nails. Use those nails to build a memorial all of your own. Some time from now you can hear the voice (Or music) and remember the fun, love and even the pain, with less sadness. But that “visitor” will always be there – rent is the tears, but so are the hugs given from friends and family knowing that he is in there “Home” too.
I have reached an age when my “Hopes, dreams and goals” have graduated to the “should have, would have and could have” People seem to be going out of my life faster than I can repopulate my friends list!
Just remember grief comes with it own calendar. No two are alike. So make sure you give enough love, hope and GRIEVING to honor the departed. Just saying, love is eternal. brotherly, parents, friends they all deserve the grief we show them