E R in Haxtun

OK, so I guess I have found out that one of the really depressing things about living in a small town away from most of my friends and family is not being able to tell the stories of everyday live — some good, some bad and some just plain stupid. this story falls into the last category.

When I do something really stupid I guess sharing it makes it seem more funny than stupid. But last night I was just plain stupid. I had made homemade bread and wanted to do some fried bread….yummy stuff with powdered sugar and honey. Knowing that the oil has to be really hot when you drop in the dough I filled the skillet with oil and turned the burner on (don’t get a head of me even though you all know where this is headed!) I then noticed the cat meowing in at way that means if I don’t get the cat box cleaned in the next 5 seconds or so I will be cleaning up more than just the box.
It had been longer than I thought between cleanings – so I sat with my scoop, her box and trash baggy. Making sure I got every last gem she had left. when she had inspected my handiwork and deemed that she could now use the fresh box I saw the smoke coming in from the kitchen. (Other end of the apartment) thinking that it couldn’t be that bad I ran into the kitchen to see my much loved cast-iron skillet a blaze. I mean flames!!!
Now the first idea I had was trying to remember what I had done with the flour that I had just used to make bread, of course it was all in the dough.
I did what was probably the dumbest thing I have done in a while. I grabbed the pan with a hot pad holder and ran for the front door. By this time the fire alarm was going off and the lid I had tried to use to stop the fire fell off and broke. the patio out side my front door is cement and so I sat the flaming pan on it and waited for the fire department, thank goodness they didn’t show! I went back in turned on all the fans and assured my neighbor that I had only TRIED to set the apartment on fire with no real damage to the structure.
Now is the time the cat chose make a break for freedom and out the door. I now have a smoke filled apartment with the alarm still going off (I couldn’t find anything long enough to poke that damn button!) and no cat.
Choosing the most annoying situation first I found my umbrella and poked the fire alarm, one down – two to go. Next turning on all of the fans and standing at the front door waving a rag like a windmill I was trying to deal with the next problem when at least the cat decided to come back on her own, two down with only one to go – I thought.
The smoke was getting to me and I really was having a hard time breathing. so I tried to do a nebulizer. Not one of my better ideas considering that the whole apartment was still full of smoke. Knowing that I really needed some help I grabbed the keys and set off for the ER (Only about 4 blocks away) – having trouble breathing means that talking is a little beyond me at this point – but due to past stupidity I know where the ER is. the light was on and I went running in only to find that someone was already there. (we only have one ER room in my town.) the shock that was on his face told me that he was not expecting someone gasping for air to burst in on his emergency!
I went in search of someone not in as desperate need as I was and found two nurses and a doctor in the nurses station. The doctor just said “find her a chair” the nurse being an intelligent sort found a wheel chair and wheeled me into what I am assuming a storage room because I soon found my self face to face (?!?) with a body. This is a good time to mention that my air was still valuable enough not to be wasted on a scream. I thought at first they had taken me to the morgue!
As I was hooked up to a super nebulizer I was introduced to Tom (full name – Tommy Tombstone) the restitution Anne of Haxtun Medical Center. After a polite though somewhat cold greeting, from Tom, the nurse on duty tried to find a vain that they could start some much needed meds. The super neb had started to take a hold so I explained that they probably had a better chance of finding a vain in Tom than in my arm. The nurse was NOT amused. When they, and I mean THEY it took all three to find a vain,  started the meds via IV.  The meds started to work and talking became possible again the nurse asked me what had started all of this. I was being rather reluctant to tell of my tale of stupidity so I tried to bluff it off my saying that is was my allergies – which I had been in for before. Showing that the nurse had a sense of humor, he said well most people are allergic to fire. I hadn’t noticed that my hair both on my head and on my arm had been burned and smelled pretty badly.
I of course then came across with my story of stupidity and he laughed. The doctor, not so amused. Asked if I had left anything burning when I left and tried to get me to agree to having the police check out my apartment. Now living in a small town I can tell you if you have the police come to your door for any reason is really embarrassing – in a town of just under 1000 if you have the police show up at your door you will have a population of just OVER 1000 standing on your sidewalk all trying to find out what happened. I declined and told her I would check really well before I went to sleep.
Sleep was a long way off due to the meds and the mess. But I am happy to say that the town and apartment is still standing. The cat came back. The cast iron skillet is still in one piece. The bread never did get fried and I am trying to figure out a hairstyle that won’t show the melted bits.  All in all another day in the life of one bored and boring person in Haxtun, Colorado!

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