I have an older brother that is a Saint. Now he hasn’t always a Saint. He was the one that hit me on top of head…. With a sledgehammer. Ok, it might NOT have been on purpose. The boys were knocking down the old incinerator in the back yard.
But thru the years he has gained: wisdom, knowledge and more than a few pounds! Yep, that happens in my family. Turn 40ish and all scales are broken. I just read a page on the internet. It had spoken about the “needs” of communication.
Of course it reminded of a story. Once I had been talking to him. About some topic that I don’t even remember. I was going on about imagined slights that I felt had been done to me, ok I was being bitchy. It took me a while to notice that he had stopped responding. He has always been a quiet guy. But this was different. He neither agreed or disagreed. When finally I asked him why he wasn’t taking my side. “You feel that you have the need to say that. But I don’t feel that I have to listen it.” Amazing how smart having me for a little sister has made him!!
When he was younger, about three years old. My Mom took him to the doctor because he wouldn’t talk. Doctor, being a good observer saw Leslie point at a toy and Harvey (next older brother) got it for him. He even noticed that when he wanted a drink Mom got it for him. When the doctor told her that as long as he didn’t need to talk he won’t .
In high school Leslie, had to take a class in public speaking. The teacher said he almost had to fail him. The next year he saw another Moe’s name on his class list the teacher almost retired. The actual fact was that Harvey just wouldn’t SHUT UP! Some traits never leave us!
Sorry, I digress. When Leslie had said that it was his choice to listen or not. I wondered about the “Needs” of communication. I learned from my big brother that what someone (even an obnoxious little sister) feels like saying does NOT mean I have to hear it.
I am going to trying hard to make sure that the only things I choose to hear are from The people I choose to, and of course my big brother!!